Paradigm Shift

I met with my thesis adviser yesterday. After thinking long and hard about my project over the winter break, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't pull it off. Not like I wanted to, anyway. I went into the meeting with a choice. I was going to tell her my frustration and if I walked out of there feeling as lost and confused as I went in, I wouldn't complete my honor's thesis. If, however, she led me in a different direction, or at least gave me some direction, I would reconsider.

I love my adviser (who, coincidentally, is also one of my professors this term).

After I explained my dilemma, she smiled a bit and said, "Patrick, professors take entire sabbaticals in order to complete a project like that". I lowered my head and said, "I know, but I have something I want to say, to contribute, and I just have no idea where to look for source material" (tried typing "queer theory" into the library's computer system and came up with 8,302 entries). Fortunately for me, she and I had already had a class together (last year's Intro to Feminism) and she knew what thinkers I had already studied. She recalled, "you liked Monique Wittig, right?" My head popped up, "I thought she was brilliant. A bit severe in prescriptive analysis, but brilliant none the less." She queried, "Have you studied Foucault?" I thought of the brief encounter I had with his explanation of power structures and said, "a little, but not to any great extent". She paused for a moment and said, "you know, to my knowledge, there has never been a dialogue between the two. They were contemporaries of one another and as Wittig was very politically engaged and offered radical changes, Foucault was more industrial in his approach, examining phenomena without ever offering a prescriptive analysis." My head started to spin. This was something I could do. This was something I would LOVE to do. She saw my excitement. "So, go ahead this week and pick up the three volumes of the History of Sexuality (Foucault) and get Wittig's The Straight Mind. Flip through them, pick out things you think would help and we'll meet next week."

And just like that, my faith in my thesis was renewed. I am going to do something new, something fresh. My project will be original and engaging. I'm working with one of the most rigorous professors in my department and she has my back all the way.

Oh em gee.