Oh Em Gee - Part Deux

Last year, I posted about a conversation overheard in one of my classes. The post was to showcase an example of the bizarre rhetoric apparently making its way into the popular vernacular via MTV and AOL IM. Needless to say, I still haven't fully recovered and though I toss around "Double-U Tee Eff" occasionally, I am being sarcastic. I wish I could say the same about certain ditzy girls on campus.

Yesterday when I arrived in my other office (not the medical one), there was another student worker whose shift was not quite over. That being the case, I was relegated to the large bank of computers reserved for whichever student group or individuals desire to work on them. Silently logging on with a pile of papers next to me, I began to work.

Thirty-seven seconds later, a girl who I later found out was 21 sat next to me. "Oh em gee", she sighed, "so much work to do." Stifling my laughter and pretending not to hear her for fear of an embarrassing outburst, I stared intently at my spreadsheet. "Hey P", she said turning to me, "P did you get that TPS report done like I asked? Oh em gee I'm totally kidding. Have you ever seen that movie? You know, Office Space? This new office is totally like that place, huh?" Sincerely pleased with her attempt at sounding like Bill Lumberg, she awaited my response. Glancing around, I noticed that there were no cubicles, no obnoxious bosses, no irritating females answering the phone in a repetitive manner and no banking software to be updated. However, not wanting to indulge her and not wanting to get dragged into a conversation I had no intention of being interested in, I went for, "heh, yeah kinda" and returned my focus to the spreadsheet. She turned back to her computer and began serious work on her Myspace page. Thank god, I thought. She had read my dour response as coming from someone with too much work to do and not enough time to do it in.

"HOLLA!!", she yelled as she gave herself a high-5. "Check it out P! I got that room scheduled for the meeting!" (a process whose complicated and nuanced execution involves the two steps of emailing scheduling and asking if you can have the room or not). The taste of bile rose into my throat. "Sweet", I say with absolutely no enthusiasm whatsoever. "Oh em gee, you look sad", she pouted. "Nope, just have a lot on my plate", I returned with a half-smile. "HOLLA! Just made you smile!", this time holding up her hand for me to high-5. I would have felt like an ass if I left her hanging, so I lightly pat her open palm. "Yes, you do want to kill yourself right now", my brain interjected.

Thankfully, I was at that moment saved by the fact that the other student worker had finished and told me the front desk was free. Silently packing up my work, I began walking to my desk. "HOLLA at 'ya girl, P!", she yelled at my back across the office. I feel it necessary to mention, for reasons of cultural hilarity, that this chick is whiter than anyone I've ever seen. She has blond/white eyebrows for god's sake. Just thought you should know. HOLLA!!!