HELLO?? CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?! HELLO?!?!
There is a big national conference going on in our building this week. Over 3000 people have descended upon the school and will be attending one talk or another, participating in one workshop or another. Sequestered far away in my indescribably gorgeous office, I don't have to deal with it too much; only when I have to take the occasional bathroom trip. The interesting folks who attend include professors, students, attorneys, lawyers, mediators, lawyers and attorneys. It is by far one of the most successful and highly-anticipated conferences of the season! You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a keynote speaker.
One thing I enjoy about such gatherings is the amount of diversity they bring. Oh don't get me wrong, it's still 99.9999999% white, but at least there are different shades. You know, the California whites are olive-skinned and freshly botoxed, the Midwest whites are walking around hugging everyone because it's above -30 degrees and the East coast whites are scowling because they were summoned from their Gregorian mansions. All in all, it's an interesting bunch.
One thing I don't enjoy is that all these people have to bring their obnoxious habits with them. I mean, come on. Leave your irritating personal behaviors at the door people! Awwww, that's rude. I have plenty annoying behaviors that I wear proudly on my sleeve every day. One of them is not, however, jabbing away on my mobile phone in elevators.
[I enter the 3rd floor elevator pushing a dolly full of boxes destined for the 2nd floor. A well-dressed woman on her mobile steps out when the door opens, looks around and says, "Whoops. This isn't the ground floor," and steps back in.]
"Hello? What? WHAT?? No, I'm in the LAW SCHOOL. THE LAW SCHOOL. I'M IN THE LAW SCHOOL. HELLO?? CAN YOU... HELLO? I'M. NO! I'M.... THE LAW SCHOOL. I'M IN THE LAW SCHOOL. DID YOU.... HELLO? HELLO?!?! THE! LAW! SCHOOL! I'M ALMOST THERE! NO! I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!! THE LAW SCHOOL!! HELLO??!!"
The above quote is not exaggerated in the slightest. She was yelling so loud that she would have been the perfect candidate to scream for help had the elevator failed. At least in that case, I could be thankful for her grating tone rather than suffer through it. Add to this the fact that our elevators are tortuously slow and the perfect storm of Obnoxious Lady on Her Cell Phone in an Elevator rained hell upon me.
I shivered in frustration. She didn't pay me even the slightest bit of attention. If she said, nay, gestured something like, "Sorry about this!," then I would have been less irritated. As it stood, by the time the doors finally opened, I had half a mind to rip the phone out of her hand, scream, "SHE'LL CALL YOU BACK," into the receiver and throw it back at her. I probably would have at least said something snarky were it not for the packages with my name printed largely on top. Instead, I decided to take a page from my man Gandhi and walk away. Wait, that's not right! Gandhi was all about shankin' kidneys! Too bad I left my shank in the office.
One thing I enjoy about such gatherings is the amount of diversity they bring. Oh don't get me wrong, it's still 99.9999999% white, but at least there are different shades. You know, the California whites are olive-skinned and freshly botoxed, the Midwest whites are walking around hugging everyone because it's above -30 degrees and the East coast whites are scowling because they were summoned from their Gregorian mansions. All in all, it's an interesting bunch.
One thing I don't enjoy is that all these people have to bring their obnoxious habits with them. I mean, come on. Leave your irritating personal behaviors at the door people! Awwww, that's rude. I have plenty annoying behaviors that I wear proudly on my sleeve every day. One of them is not, however, jabbing away on my mobile phone in elevators.
[I enter the 3rd floor elevator pushing a dolly full of boxes destined for the 2nd floor. A well-dressed woman on her mobile steps out when the door opens, looks around and says, "Whoops. This isn't the ground floor," and steps back in.]
"Hello? What? WHAT?? No, I'm in the LAW SCHOOL. THE LAW SCHOOL. I'M IN THE LAW SCHOOL. HELLO?? CAN YOU... HELLO? I'M. NO! I'M.... THE LAW SCHOOL. I'M IN THE LAW SCHOOL. DID YOU.... HELLO? HELLO?!?! THE! LAW! SCHOOL! I'M ALMOST THERE! NO! I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!! THE LAW SCHOOL!! HELLO??!!"
The above quote is not exaggerated in the slightest. She was yelling so loud that she would have been the perfect candidate to scream for help had the elevator failed. At least in that case, I could be thankful for her grating tone rather than suffer through it. Add to this the fact that our elevators are tortuously slow and the perfect storm of Obnoxious Lady on Her Cell Phone in an Elevator rained hell upon me.
I shivered in frustration. She didn't pay me even the slightest bit of attention. If she said, nay, gestured something like, "Sorry about this!," then I would have been less irritated. As it stood, by the time the doors finally opened, I had half a mind to rip the phone out of her hand, scream, "SHE'LL CALL YOU BACK," into the receiver and throw it back at her. I probably would have at least said something snarky were it not for the packages with my name printed largely on top. Instead, I decided to take a page from my man Gandhi and walk away. Wait, that's not right! Gandhi was all about shankin' kidneys! Too bad I left my shank in the office.
posted by Infused Confusion at
2:09 PM
1 Comments:
Aren't there about 400 other people at the U of O with your exact same name? Next time, forget the hugely-labeled boxes and get your snark on.
By
April, At
9:38 PM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home