Crazy

For those of you who still keep up with my ramblings, you may have noticed a newcomer in the comments section. Rest assured that April does indeed exist and is in no way a desperate fabrication of mine created to make you think more people read this blog. April is a delicate flower of poise and grace but I wouldn't get into a fight with her because of a certain "colored" history.

Anyway, April and I have been exchanging emails and she ordered me to blog about something. I have never been given a directive regarding the content of my blog. However, I was excited at the opportunity to bend over backwards for the sake of someone else's amusement. Dance, monkey!! I referred to someone as "bat shit crazy" in one of these emails to April. She then responded, "could you describe and differentiate the different levels of crazy?"

Well, I have no idea what "differentiate" is but if you shout it and point an imaginary wand, it sounds like a spell from the Harry Potter novels so I'm going with that. I do know what the rest of her sentence means so hopefully the following will do it some justice.

According to dictionary.com, "crazy" means a lot of things. Depending on the context and nuance of one's voice, "crazy" can range in meaning from "totally mental" to "totally awesome". The variance between what is intended and the literal definition of the word is further complicated by the phrase surrounding it. "That's crazy, man" could be translated as, "radical, dude", whereas "shut the fuck up you crazy bitch" would most likely mean, "I no longer wish to continue this dialogue".

The problem with a word like crazy is that the speaker is really the ultimate context from which the word gains its meaning; When I say "crazy" is not the same as when, say, your mom says "crazy". Ergo, I cannot hope to give an exhaustive account that will be applicable to all people in all situations. Thusly, the following will be examples of what I mean when I use the following phrases with "crazy":

"You're crazy"
(With chuckle): You're fun! I enjoy the zaniness of whatever it is you're stimulating me with.
(Without chuckle, eyebrows raised): Perhaps you haven't thought this through...
(Searching for closest exit): Please, let's not make this more awkward than it has to be.

"That's crazy"
(Regarding object): It is complicated and amuses me!
(Regarding self): I need to get that checked out
(Regarding other): How are you bending your legs like that??

"Crazy like a fox!"
(Same in every instance): I'm/You're/That's completely insane and it just might work!

"Crazy, dude"
(To person directly): Your predicament befuddles me.
(To person indirectly): Our predicament befuddles me.

"S/he/you/they is/are Bat. Shit. Crazy."
(Same in every instance): They have lost all sense of reality such that their brain has literally been reduced to a pile of bat shit. Frankly, nothing else would make sense given the severe level of craziness erupting from their mouth. No seriously, it is a wonder that they can remember to breathe or clothe and feed themselves.

And there you have it. I have failed in the modest task that was my charge and for that, I apologize. I tried to give "levels" to the above situations but no matter how I defined or designated (differentiated?) them, the levels seems completely random and subject to the whims of my fancy. Then again, they are levels in so far as the final expression is the ultimate embodiment of the traditional definition of crazy. If you hear me call you "bat shit crazy", I probably mean that we won't be hanging out if I can help it. You wouldn't hear me say that to your face, however, because I'm only confrontational behind people's backs. I wait for the gossip train to hit them full speed. Am I rambling? Eh, probably. This whole post is pretty strange now that I proof read it, but I assume your task (April) was just that. You wanted me to touch a bit of madness, to brush up against an impossible task? Well done.