The Doctor Is In
I am the minute-taker for all the library meetings. Usually the hour consists of typing things I only know a little bit about. The librarian jargon is becoming clearer to me as time passes, but when the acronyms start firing away (MOML, ELCL, AALL), I can only zone out and copy what I think I'm hearing. Often times I'm wrong and am quickly corrected.
Today was a lighter meeting than usual; lighter in the sense that we didn't have a lot to discuss. There was only one major talking point that my boss needed to cover. The second talking point was taking a look at Google Books and wondering if that resource should be incorporated into our procedures for helping students find texts online.
Google Books is fantastic. It's a resource for people who want to find scanned texts and documents, varying in completeness depending on copyright issues. If the volume is very old and out of print, your search will turn up a complete scanned text, some from places like the Library of Congress or Harvard University. If the requested item is more recent and particularly if Google hasn't dismembered the copyright institution protecting the book (yet), you'll only get a portion of the text, with large pieces missing. In any case, it's a great time-waster, I mean complete UN time-waster, and is worth a look.
Being in the business of law, my boss asked me to search the full texts for "Law" between 1800 and 1900. We perused the Google-created book covers (very nice work, Google! It doesn't look like a 5th grader with Microsoft Paint did these at all!). On the second or third page was a journal of correspondence between one Dr. Lushington and his court opponent, circa 1843. I didn't really care about the content, for I was stuck thinking about Dr. Lushington.
I imagined a somewhat overweight middle-aged family doctor, probably in his late 40s. He was a staunch man with a mustache and graying hair. He sat slouched in his office chair, hands laid flat on the desk in front of him. One eye was slightly more closed than the other, and he seemed to be pondering the stethoscope hanging around his neck. The nurse walked in and announced that Dr. Lushington's 3 o'clock, Mrs. Pennywell, had arrived. The good doctor snapped to attention, heaved his body upright, and shook his head vigorously.
Walking in a not-so-straight line down the hallway, Dr. Lushington managed several times to steady himself with a quick arm to the closest wall. He meandered into the examination room only to find lots of patients (Mrs. Pennywell was nowhere to be found), and was utterly confused until his brain reminded him that this exam room looked too much like the waiting room to be Mrs. Pennywell's room. He hiccuped twice and went back into the hallway. Across the hall was the exam room with a confused Mrs. Pennywell.
Dr. Lushington proceeded to take off his stethoscope and touch the cold tip to Mrs. Pennywell's blouse. When she shrieked and pushed the good doctor off of her breast, Dr. Lushington tried his best to calm her down, "Mishus Penwel, I'm a profeshnul and I need to take ur breth rate". Mrs. Pennywell was unconvinced that Dr. Lushington's firm grab on her breast with his other hand was an attempt to get anything other than a cheap thrill, so she stormed out of the room.
"I demand to see another doctor!", Mrs. Pennywell yelled to the desk nurse, "This Dr. Lushington must have a partner or something, yes?" The desk nurse sighed and apologized for Dr. Lushington, who was now snoring loudly on the previously Mrs. Pennywell's exam table. "Please follow me," the nurse said to a placated Mrs. Pennywell. At the other end of the hallway, the nurse sat Mrs. Pennywell on the exam table. She turned to leave the room and said brightly, "Dr. McVodkabreath will be here shortly."
Today was a lighter meeting than usual; lighter in the sense that we didn't have a lot to discuss. There was only one major talking point that my boss needed to cover. The second talking point was taking a look at Google Books and wondering if that resource should be incorporated into our procedures for helping students find texts online.
Google Books is fantastic. It's a resource for people who want to find scanned texts and documents, varying in completeness depending on copyright issues. If the volume is very old and out of print, your search will turn up a complete scanned text, some from places like the Library of Congress or Harvard University. If the requested item is more recent and particularly if Google hasn't dismembered the copyright institution protecting the book (yet), you'll only get a portion of the text, with large pieces missing. In any case, it's a great time-waster, I mean complete UN time-waster, and is worth a look.
Being in the business of law, my boss asked me to search the full texts for "Law" between 1800 and 1900. We perused the Google-created book covers (very nice work, Google! It doesn't look like a 5th grader with Microsoft Paint did these at all!). On the second or third page was a journal of correspondence between one Dr. Lushington and his court opponent, circa 1843. I didn't really care about the content, for I was stuck thinking about Dr. Lushington.
I imagined a somewhat overweight middle-aged family doctor, probably in his late 40s. He was a staunch man with a mustache and graying hair. He sat slouched in his office chair, hands laid flat on the desk in front of him. One eye was slightly more closed than the other, and he seemed to be pondering the stethoscope hanging around his neck. The nurse walked in and announced that Dr. Lushington's 3 o'clock, Mrs. Pennywell, had arrived. The good doctor snapped to attention, heaved his body upright, and shook his head vigorously.
Walking in a not-so-straight line down the hallway, Dr. Lushington managed several times to steady himself with a quick arm to the closest wall. He meandered into the examination room only to find lots of patients (Mrs. Pennywell was nowhere to be found), and was utterly confused until his brain reminded him that this exam room looked too much like the waiting room to be Mrs. Pennywell's room. He hiccuped twice and went back into the hallway. Across the hall was the exam room with a confused Mrs. Pennywell.
Dr. Lushington proceeded to take off his stethoscope and touch the cold tip to Mrs. Pennywell's blouse. When she shrieked and pushed the good doctor off of her breast, Dr. Lushington tried his best to calm her down, "Mishus Penwel, I'm a profeshnul and I need to take ur breth rate". Mrs. Pennywell was unconvinced that Dr. Lushington's firm grab on her breast with his other hand was an attempt to get anything other than a cheap thrill, so she stormed out of the room.
"I demand to see another doctor!", Mrs. Pennywell yelled to the desk nurse, "This Dr. Lushington must have a partner or something, yes?" The desk nurse sighed and apologized for Dr. Lushington, who was now snoring loudly on the previously Mrs. Pennywell's exam table. "Please follow me," the nurse said to a placated Mrs. Pennywell. At the other end of the hallway, the nurse sat Mrs. Pennywell on the exam table. She turned to leave the room and said brightly, "Dr. McVodkabreath will be here shortly."
posted by Infused Confusion at
9:56 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home