(Shudder)

I'm totally stoked on this poster for several reasons. I don't know which part I like the best. What can I say? I'm entranced by the beauty of Ann's demure visage. She is truly a spectacular woman, worthy of having a poster made with, uh, that picture.

I'll give you that she's a best-selling author, but so is Tom Clancy. The rest was just added for comedic value. I mean, it had to be right? Although, truth be told, the first thing I think when I hear Ann Coulter talk is "witty" and "intelligent". Watch any of her interviews and you'll be like, "Damn! She's witty and intelligent! And also compelling!" I promise you won't be like, "Bat. Shit. Crazy."

So let's discuss. I mean, it's a given that I'm getting this poster and hanging it proudly above my bed so I can masturbate to it. Who wouldn't? It's "stunning"! I can't be gay when the object in question is the heavenly Ann Coulter! Besides, homegirl has a surprise penis, you can tell it in her eyes. She's saying, "I've got a surprise penis. Wanna touch it?", which is precisely why all those old conservative senators love her. Oh snap!

I think they made the poster 24 inches wide by 34 inches high because that's the size of her anal cavity. It must be! You can't crap out the shit like Ann Coulter and have a small rectum. It's simple mathematics. You must have the largest rectum ever conceived.

Hopefully you get invited to my next party because you know we're playing "pin the penis on the Coulter".