Things

In an uncharacteristic move, I will present a few things below in numbered, statement form. I shall refrain from narrative. Probably.

1. Fall is officially here and I'm freezing. It's gorgeous outside but freezing.

2. I've been working out five days a week for 4 weeks now. Results have been positive and sexy.

3. I don't like training for a database only 2% of which has any bearing on my actual job. Also: grizzled old secretary ladies in training sessions with me can suck someone else's balls.

4. The plants I purchased for my office are doing well. Percival Two is the happiest of the three.

5. I just finished Book 6 in the Harry Potter series. I am not afraid to admit I'm addicted though I will not be seeking personal or professional help.

6. I'm participating, with many friends, in a zombie walk this weekend. I love Portland.

7. Eating sushi makes me a happier person. No seriously, I think I would probably have killed most of you by now if it weren't for the occasional euphoria sushi brings me.

8. I'm really over people using the word "literally" incorrectly. I literally go insane when people use it just to emphasize their stupid point.

9. The new pair of Lucky Jeans purchased from Costco the past weekend have made me happy. The crotch hole in my older pair of jeans was getting absurdly large.

10. We watched Down With Love last night. Ewan McGregor is hott with an extra t. Renee Zelwegger misplaced her boobs somewhere.

11. I like making up songs for our kitty. They are spontaneous and cannot be forcibly repeated. Please do not request to hear one.

12. The piano given to me by Sami's parents has been practiced upon quite a bit. I'm very excited to have a piano again.

13. When unexpected, sudden loud noises cause my heart to race, my body to jump and my face to flush. I am most likely the only one who receives these symptoms.

14. Sometimes I like to make up abilities I don't have so I can scare people. Like when I told a seven year old that if he didn't stop crying I would burn down his house with my mind.

15. I resisted the temptation to buy chocolate the other day. It was a poor decision.

16. I read somewhere that drinking wine increases your IQ probably by a lot.

17. I will be going to the coast in a couple of weeks for a visit to the cabin. Friends will come and we will laugh about things and have a deathmatch.

18. I only want to eat delicious food forever now. Becoming a PC family has whetted my appetite such that bland, poorly cooked foods are no longer of interest to me. Unless I'm drunk and the food in question is Taco Bell.

19. One time, long ago, people didn't have toilets. They had chamberpots. People used to be so stupid.

20. If you made it this far, good for you! I'm glad we could share in the pointless post together.