Warmth

I had a dream the other night. It was a beautiful fall day; crisp and sunny. Robin, Shannon and I were sitting under a gigantic oak tree having a picnic. We were watching Eric and Chandra play ultimate. I looked at Shannon who was wearing a bright pink cardigan and a long skirt with daisies printed on it. She offered me a stuffed pickle. Robin was uncorking a bottle of Pinot Noir. We were laughing. Chandra scored a goal. I was very, very happy. This flash of a dream, this small joyous moment, made me wake up and I had a smile on my face.

Like most people, my dreams are usually strange and filled with bizarre imagery. A typical dream will also take some digesting as to what the hell my subconscious was trying to work out. At times, such dreams are never resolved and in some cases, I have them again with the same confusion following. Then there are other dreams, like the one above, whose meanings and intentions are immediately clear. I was surrounded by people I know and love, doing things I thoroughly enjoy: eating and drinking wine (although I don't know what the stuffed pickle was about), watching a friendly sporting event and basking in spectacular nature. This year has so far provided me with many opportunities to bask in a pleasant state. Like a dream, I sometimes wake to the reality of my life and become very satisfied with the friends I have, the relationship I am in, and the place I live.

It can be very easy for one to gloss over moments of happiness because they're moving on to the next thing, running from home to work, to the gym, to home, to the weekend. I sometimes lose sight of how precious a life I have with those I know because I'm too focused on the next event.

People say that there are no real seasons in Oregon. Compared to some places, I understand why they would have that conclusion. But this past week, fall came crashing in; no overture whatsoever. Fall always reminds me to take stock of how my year has shaped up, considering the fact that it is almost over. The past several years I have been in school, so my normal stock-taking was replaced by, "What the hell class am I supposed to be in right now?". This year, however, I have a moment to collect my memories and fondly think about all the hard work, long hours and dedication I put into the first six months of this year and how everything after has gone delightfully well.

While I don't believe in some supernatural force that brings to us good fortune and happiness, I do believe you have the ability to attract such things to you. Call it an aura, call it whatever you want, but I can't deny the fact that I have what I do because I have created myself such that my friends and loved ones are honest representations of my inner most happiness. Perhaps I'm just getting wiser and perhaps I'm just learning to be authentic, but the happiness around me is something I have helped create through hard work and learning from my mistakes. I am not foolish enough to think the bad times will be deflected by my happy force field, but they will in part be absorbed by the support and love of my friends.

Since my blog is very exclusive, I know only close friends read it. To all of you, know that I truly appreciate you. In my eyes, you are the epitome of friendship and my thoughts of you are comforting and warm. It is a blessing to awake in your life and see that you are surrounded by true, caring, and intelligent friends.


And no, I'm not drunk.