Me & The Horse I Rode In On

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I Got Fired Today

No kidding. I'm totally unemployed. What's more frustrating than losing your job, you ask? Losing it because of reasons unknown to you. Also, not kidding. I have no idea why I was fired. As it was a work-study job, they aren't required to provide me with documentation. They said, "it's just not working out." Huh?

Even more frustrating? The person who was my boss was also my "friend". I say "friend" because I don't quite know how to treat them given the fact that they obviously knew what was coming and didn't give me fair warning. I know the relationship of work and friendship is precarious at best, particularly when they are intertwined, but doesn't it stand to reason that if your "friend" is about to get fired, you'd let them know? Even better, when I was walking out and they saw me leaving, they were all, "oh, are you leaving?" I looked them in the eye and said, "yeah, I got fired. You know I did." They looked at me with this odd puzzled-but-not head tilt. I've never seen one like it. Kind of like they didn't want any drama, so they pretended not to know I was getting fired after knowing I was going to be fired.

I feel very fortunate to have a loving support base. I have a terribly difficult midterm due on Thursday, another on Monday and I really didn't need to lose my job. Robin bought me a present which is an awesome Sushi book complete with DVD, book and sushi mat. I'm stoked. Basically, I'm a sushi chef now. At least, I will be when I read the book and watch the DVD (I wonder if they have bloopers...). After work, Robin picked me up and mom and dad took us out to "burger and a brew" at 6th Street Grill. I had the Rogue Hazel Nut Brown. Hands down, one of the best beers around. Anyway, it's late. I'm tired and cranky. Wish me luck on my midterms.

Monday, February 13, 2006

VEGAS, BABY!!

Robin and I will be indulging in what is surely the epitome of American gluttony - a trip to Vegas. Now, I could rant and rant about how disgusting I think it is to throw one's money away in a vain attempt at monetary glory. I could easily illustrate this by pointing out all the 60-something, tracksuited, schelacked, bedazzled grandmas plugging the 10 cent slots. But, we're *better* than that. We shall be taking in a few shows, sampling the champagne buffets and otherwise carousing with the Vegas vacationers.

We'll be flying out of Eugene, which for this trip, isn't much more expensive than flying out of Portland (it usually is for most destinations). So, that's a plus. The minus is that we have to spend over two hours in layover at the Salt Lake City airport. Now, I'm as wild about the Mormons as the next person, but I won't be in any mood to deal with their shenanigans. Instead, I will endulge in some 2.5% alcohol Budweiser or maybe some 3% alcohol wine. You can just feel the buzz a-comin' (54, 093 beers/wines later...)!

Upon arrival, we shall be checking in to the Luxor Hotel. If you know about my 'thing' with Egyptology, then you know that this hotel is the perfect place for me. I mean, it's just like a real pyramid, only made with steel and glass and inclinators (slanted elevators), a food court, a casino, fountains, restaurants and shows. It's totally authentic. Kidding aside, I am really excited because we'll be staying in the pyramid, in a Deluxe Pyramid room of a 4-star hotel. Not too shabby for our first trip to Vegas...

Haven't decided what shows we'll be taking in, though there is heavy pre-approval for Avenue Q and Mystere. Oh, and don't get me started on the Star Trek Experience. Robin and I will literally be there for, like, two days. They have the BRIDGE OF THE ENTERPRISE-D, PEOPLE. THE Bridge. No, we're not obsessed. I've just been waiting to sit on the Enterprise bridge since I can remember. I have to remember to schedule that meeting with Lt. Cmdr. Data.

A few of our friends will be joining us. Evan might make an appearance. You know, cuz' that'd be, you know, great...

A plan is also in the works to rent a Pool Cabanna for the day! Basically, you get this little slice of Vegas heaven all to yourself and your closest friends. They assign servers to your heaven and you get drinks and food (which you have to pay for, surely) all while you splash around in the pool. Unfortunately, you don't get your own pool, which means you have to hob-nob with some of the lesser aspects of society (e.g. people). Oh well.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'll keep you posted as developments develop.

Uh...

[To my imaginary administrative assistant, Luciano]: Luciano, please take a memo for me. Ready?

Luciano: Go 'head

Me: It's about this weekend's outing with Dick Cheney.

Luciano: Right, at the Texas ranch.

Me: Yeah, go ahead and cancel that, would you?

Luciano: Sure. May I ask why?

Me: Regretfully, I don't hunt defensless animals.

Luciano: Uh...

Me: Click on this article, Luciano. It will explain everything.

Luciano: Oh my...

Me: Yeah. Know anybody who might be interested?

Luciano: My cousin is into that sort of thing.

Me: Tell your cousin that killing birds is terrible.

Luciano: No, I meant shooting other people.

Me: Oh, is that all? Please, Luciano. Where's your sense of adventure? Call your cousin and ask if he would like to come along.

Luciano: Sure, Patrick. I feel it important to warn you that he's kinda', well, he's kinda' like a certain Chris Moore we both know.

Me: Perfect. All the crazies will be in one place! Just make sure my people-shootin' gun is ready.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Il Fait Beau

In French, that means, "yes, I'd like some fries with that but please don't give me the ones that are all soggy and gross. No, I said not the ones that are soggy and gross. Please try harder to impress me as a valued customer."

Actually, it is a French statement about the weather. Today it's 60 degrees F (for those of you in the rest of the world, "F" stands for "Functilious"; see also: "word I thought was real but in fact isn't after verifying at dictionary.com").

I went to a speech on Monday by Dr. Bonnie Mann, one of my professors and one who inspires me to be myself and offer the world something new. I'm currently taking her Feminst Philosophy class. It's a 350, but we're getting a really good grasp on the roots of feminism beginning with Simone de Beauvoir (P.S. Ben I still wish to discuss why you don't like "Le Deuxième Sexe". I don't necessarily disagree, by the way).

Lately, I've been feeling lost in my major. I know I'm not the only one, but the sensation is palpable. I think it has much to do with the fact that I am reading authors whose writing techniques are, for lack of a better word, sucky.

Soon my junior year will be over and I will begin on my Honor's Thesis (not required to get a degree but you know how I am). I've been fumbling ideas over my head, loosely batting at them like a lazy cat and it's just discouraging. To reach from myself, don't I have to have a place to start from? What is that? That I'm gay? A man? A gay man? A man gay? Gay a man? You get the idea. And further, to what am I reaching? For knowledge? Truth? Understanding? All my goals and all my starting places are as ambiguous as the terms I use to define "goal" and "starting place". If you've read Beauvoir and know what I'm referring to here, then you're one step closer to eating a tasty burrito.

Rarely have I felt so deeply moved by a philosophical text. Something is resonating, buzzing inside me but I can't put my finger on it. I want to run out and do something but I can't make my legs work.

So be it. Perhaps it is not such a great idea to have a goal in mind. I think that those who are desparately searching for something will eventually find it, to what end (and how realistically) is another issue entirely.

As I re-read this post I see that I'm offering nothing new. Everybody's confused, nobody can figure anything out, and that's the way life has to be. Every major contribution is set back by further turmoil, further despair. The greater the stride, the greater people suffer. I really don't care what you think personally - the world is complete shit right now. The powerful (speaking as one myself) don't know what kind of power they weild. They hold onto the egotistical conception that "if you just try hard enough, you can succeed in life". People all over the world are dying in order to placate our insaciable greed, only to have that greed grow and grow.

I'm at the point now where I'm faced with the "Ivory Tower Philosopher" in me. Do I just sit here and bitch about the world and offer overly-complex treatises and essays and literary diarrhea on how I think the world should be relating? Do I roll up my sleeves, join Peace Corps and "live" for something? What can I offer? What the hell am I living for?

It's a beautiful day all right...