Copying Sara

This is funny. Here's the one I did:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Robin's Office party. It was Sara who spiked the punch with too much Cosmopolitan. I can't help it if I drank 79 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vomit.

I thought it was funny when I put Rachel's condom on my head and danced the cha cha on the lounge while singing `All You Need Is Love'. I didn't mean to break Robin's vibrator and don't know why Robin would accuse me of arson.

I don't remember calling Eric's wife a punctilious Llama---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and sage lipstick!

And when I threw up on Chandra's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that lasagne.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my bentley arnage through my neighbor's shed. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a lascivious hippo and have me arrested for armed robbery!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all vibrant and exclusory. And I'm really not to blame for any of this putrid stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and rapidly yours,


Patrick (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 1095783 bucks!