When Believers Believe In Others
Robin and I were asked to be guests on a panel for one of our local churches. We have two very close gay friends who attend (one of whom was a minister) and they were not able to be on the panel this year. The panel is designed for two gay couples (men and women) to field questions from 12-15 year olds. This church holds a school-year long class on human sexuality. Interwoven through their studies are the benefits and pitfalls of a healthy sexual life with some Jesus stuff too.
If you haven't figured it out already, this church is very open-minded and to that end, inclusive of every kind of lifestyle. Furthermore, this is a very large congregation. It's not like this is some dinky touchy-feely-woo-woo church. It's major. Anyway...
Before we began the question and answer portion, we each shared our "life story in two minutes" and relayed the challenges we had to overcome as gay people. The other three (including Robin) had a much different encounter with their sexuality than I did. This is not to suggest they didn't face difficulties, but they were more comfortable loving themselves than I was. Y'all know it took me a little longer and some craziness to love me for me. But hey, I turned out all right, right? RIGHT?!
In the previous week, they prepared questions for us. They also participated in a meditation where they were to imagine themselves in a predominantly gay world and what that would feel like. Afterward, they all discussed their feelings and anticipated how we must have felt growing up. How friggin' cool is that?
The questions were the usual ones people ask; When did you know you were gay? Did people tease you in school? What's it like living in a predominantly heterosexual world? We all answered with different views, different experiences, but same gayness.
The most impressive part of this panel was that the kids were really, really engaged. It got to the point where we were discussing social trends, what they experience in school and how bad they feel when people put down gays. As I type, my eyes are filling with tears and I can barely choke back my emotion. I felt so heard and authentically cared for as an equal voice amongst those who were 10 years younger than I was. These kids were the age I was when I could give a rat's ass about someone talking about their sexuality. Yes, I understand younger generations have had more exposure to sexuality at a younger age, but why should they care when there are XBOXes to be played?
As the kids asked their questions and we replied, I felt as though a warm blanket was being wrapped around me. I felt like Robin and I and the others were not just "tokens" for their interest, but people from whom they wanted to hear what it's like to struggle in a society where you're "innocent until proven gay" (my favorite thing Robin says regarding our social standing).
As I have written several times (and make no excuses for), mainstream Christianity is a plague on the earth. Their exclusionary practices and mind-numbingly shallow beliefs create a black hole of fear and oppression. There is little else they can say (even though they do), for they don't even read the Bible in its original text (Hebrew), though they have the capacity to do so. They study their own religion in a translated, bastardized, unhistorical context and claim moral superiority over everything. But last night, I saw hope in a religion I think is utterly poopy. No, I didn't see hope, I saw enlightenment, encouragement, faith as it is meant to be taught. There was no subversive, conversionist, missionary like message they gave us or even implied. All they wanted was to encounter sexuality in a we're-all-in-it-together-so-let's-not-act-like-jackasses manner.
I don't care who you are or where you're from. If you have the opportunity to reach out from your personal experiences to anyone else, DO IT. You don't have to be gay; speak from your heart, speak from your truthful encounters with others.
The only reason this world sucks so much is because we don't know how to love ourselves. Take a cue from these kids and try it.
If you haven't figured it out already, this church is very open-minded and to that end, inclusive of every kind of lifestyle. Furthermore, this is a very large congregation. It's not like this is some dinky touchy-feely-woo-woo church. It's major. Anyway...
Before we began the question and answer portion, we each shared our "life story in two minutes" and relayed the challenges we had to overcome as gay people. The other three (including Robin) had a much different encounter with their sexuality than I did. This is not to suggest they didn't face difficulties, but they were more comfortable loving themselves than I was. Y'all know it took me a little longer and some craziness to love me for me. But hey, I turned out all right, right? RIGHT?!
In the previous week, they prepared questions for us. They also participated in a meditation where they were to imagine themselves in a predominantly gay world and what that would feel like. Afterward, they all discussed their feelings and anticipated how we must have felt growing up. How friggin' cool is that?
The questions were the usual ones people ask; When did you know you were gay? Did people tease you in school? What's it like living in a predominantly heterosexual world? We all answered with different views, different experiences, but same gayness.
The most impressive part of this panel was that the kids were really, really engaged. It got to the point where we were discussing social trends, what they experience in school and how bad they feel when people put down gays. As I type, my eyes are filling with tears and I can barely choke back my emotion. I felt so heard and authentically cared for as an equal voice amongst those who were 10 years younger than I was. These kids were the age I was when I could give a rat's ass about someone talking about their sexuality. Yes, I understand younger generations have had more exposure to sexuality at a younger age, but why should they care when there are XBOXes to be played?
As the kids asked their questions and we replied, I felt as though a warm blanket was being wrapped around me. I felt like Robin and I and the others were not just "tokens" for their interest, but people from whom they wanted to hear what it's like to struggle in a society where you're "innocent until proven gay" (my favorite thing Robin says regarding our social standing).
As I have written several times (and make no excuses for), mainstream Christianity is a plague on the earth. Their exclusionary practices and mind-numbingly shallow beliefs create a black hole of fear and oppression. There is little else they can say (even though they do), for they don't even read the Bible in its original text (Hebrew), though they have the capacity to do so. They study their own religion in a translated, bastardized, unhistorical context and claim moral superiority over everything. But last night, I saw hope in a religion I think is utterly poopy. No, I didn't see hope, I saw enlightenment, encouragement, faith as it is meant to be taught. There was no subversive, conversionist, missionary like message they gave us or even implied. All they wanted was to encounter sexuality in a we're-all-in-it-together-so-let's-not-act-like-jackasses manner.
I don't care who you are or where you're from. If you have the opportunity to reach out from your personal experiences to anyone else, DO IT. You don't have to be gay; speak from your heart, speak from your truthful encounters with others.
The only reason this world sucks so much is because we don't know how to love ourselves. Take a cue from these kids and try it.
posted by Infused Confusion at
3:31 PM
11 Comments:
Very moving, especially on today, the anniversary of Rosa Parks' arrest for sitting at the front of the bus.
Get this: The entire Tri-met system of portland pulled their busses over at 12:00 today for a moment of silence to show respect to her. That was such a moving thing to hear on the radio this morning.
I'm reading a book to my students where a king whose wife dies of shock from a soup-related mishap outlaws soup. When I shared the Rosa Parks annecdote with the kiddos today, one student equated the ridiculousness of separating people based on color to the ridiculousness of outlawing soup.
I think there's hope, Pattie Poo ( even though my spelling sucks right now...oh well, I'm not correcting!).
By
Sara, At
8:11 PM
Patrick, that's awesome. And you're pretty great, so we all hope you love yourself.
Was this by any chance the United Church in Christ? (Also called the congregationalist church) On 24th and Alder or so? If so, my parents are the co-pastors of the UCC here in Kfalls. It's a pretty cool denomination. I've been to the one in Eugene a few times.
By
Copy Editor, At
9:30 PM
This sounds like Unitarian Universalits. And we all know that Unitarianism isn't a religion....
(I was going to write something nice and positive, and whatever, but it's 1am, so I'm not.)
By
Ben A. Johnson, At
10:06 PM
And the winner is...
Jo!
Yep, it's the congregationalist church on 24th and Harris.
Ben, hope you got some good sleep ;)
By
Infused Confusion, At
9:09 AM
That's awesome I am glad you gave those kids a chance to know how wonderful you are
By
Anonymous, At
6:29 PM
wow, sounds like a really moving experience. Faith can be a powerful force it's just a shame that it's allways the jackasses who make the cover.
and a note to the rev...
don't ya be badmouthin the Unitarian Universalits, my grand-daddy started that church (seriously, I'm named after him and darn proud)
By
Anonymous, At
6:07 PM
Clinton:
Who's your grandfather? The only famous Unitarian I can think of is Ralph Waldo Emmerson.
Ben: My parents also used to go to the Unitarian church, and while the one here isn't very god-centered, I can't speak for the rest. The UCC though, is absoloutely a christian church. I've sat in those pews many a Sunday singing hymns and reading the bible. The one in Eugene is really cool, even if the music is a bit old-fashioned for my taste. The building is gorgeous.
Patrick: Did I tell you (months and months ago) that my Dad was invited to speak before the state legislators about Senate Bill 1000? He was invited to represent ministers who supported it. I think I wrote about it in my blog post on that bill.
By
Copy Editor, At
6:20 PM
I was joking about Unitarianism. I'm an internet reverend for heaven's sake. Mostly it was vaguely an obscure Simpsons reference:
Lisa Simpson: Wow, look at all these flavors! Blessed Virgin Berry, Command-Mint, Bible Gum?
Reverend Lovejoy: Or, if you prefer, we also have Unitarian ice cream. [hands Lisa an empty bowl]
Lisa: There's nothing here.
Lovejoy: Exactly.
The Simpsons
"I'm Goin' to Praiseland"
Original Airdate: 05/06/2001
By
Ben A. Johnson, At
8:40 PM
Ben, I knew that you were joking, I took no offense. I was joking around as well. I've been to the unitarian church in Eugene as well, your right it's not very god-centered... from my limited experience I can tell you that it's a fairly accurate representation.
Jobetta, my great-grandfather was clinton (I apologise, I cannot remember my grandmother's maiden name) he was not really famous per-se, but he was the head of the universilist church at the time that it merged with the unitarian church. It was kind of a big deal, because they had similar structures and when they merged they became a lot bigger.
Ipersonally choose to express my spirituality by playing billy grahms bible blaster
"no you just winged him and made him a unitarian"
By
Anonymous, At
8:51 AM
Wow, that's pretty cool, Clinton. I guess I didn't know that the Unitarians and Universalists used to be two seperate churches.
On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, as I typed that, "Tainted Love" came on my iTunes list. I had no idea I had this song. Sweet.
By
Copy Editor, At
10:31 PM
Patrick this was great post to read. I am gald that you and Robin got to share this expereince and your life experiences with a younger generation. I am also happy to hear that you have connections with a true church, that does not have some simple list of who is worthy and not. In reponse to Sara's post about trimet, I was on a bus that stopped for about minute and then us passengers clapped. It was nice feeling of solidarity. I hope that one day we can have moment of silence like this for the gay couple that sits front row in my Catholic church, or any other Christian church that is yet to see the light.
By
paulsepp, At
2:42 AM
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