You Can What the WHAT?!

There are so many problems in the world today. Whether it's international terrorism, crumbling economies or civil rights abuse, it seems like everywhere you turn, another devastating event is trying to ruin your day. Right now, somewhere in - oh, let's say Japan - this lovely creature is gracing the shelves of toy stores. Not quite human, not quite satyr, the "you can shave the baby" doll is, in my opinion, a monument to our collective global issues. When the weight of the world presses upon us, we deal with it each in our own way. Some people take vacations. Some people see their therapist. Some take comfort in the kinship of friends and family. For this particular toy maker, s/he thought to deal with it by creating a suckling "human" baby covered in fine, red hair.

I keep having to recheck the picture to make sure I'm actually seeing 1) Hair "suspenders" 2) Baby crotch bush the likes of which not even 1970s porn has seen and 3) Round-the-calf hair leg warmer cuff thingys.

Just checked again. And again. One more time. OK, so I'm not hallucinating but I'm still pretty sure that thing has evil powers and is poised to attack.