Babycakes!

This is not what my mother had in mind when she called my little sister "babycakes." Speaking of little sister, for her 6th birthday she wanted a barbie doll cake. It was just a barbie doll standing through a cake dome decorated to resemble an insanely large and disproportionate-to-barbie's-frame dress. Oh well, at least it was good eats and little sis got to keep the doll.

THIS, on the other hand, does not qualify as a doll in a cake. OK, OK, I know it technically qualifies seeing as it is a plastic doll that is baked on its back (WTF, right?) into a pastry. But look at it! I mean, really look at it. It's reaching for freedom only to have its cries of pain go unheard from within the bowels of an industrial refrigerator! Baby-on-back cake is the most sinister and malevolent pastry I have ever seen. And I have seen some evil pastries, people. This abomination is neither cake nor plastic child, rather, a creation from the 9th circle of hell most foul.

And can we talk about what it means to serve (or should I say "unearth?") the Baby-on-back cake? The careful and meticulous carving-around-plastic-doll would be entrancing and ritualistic. One would hear ominus latin phrases chanted over and over by "people" in dark robes and veiled faces. The feasting activities revolved around this kind of medieval cruciation would probably best be studied through the eyes of vampires or modern-day Evangelicals. And the ostensible purpose of eating the cake is to reveal the inert, hollow plastic body of a nude baby.

That's pretty much all I can say.