Things

The upcoming family reunion this weekend has me sleeping poorly and anxious as all hell. I am torn between my innate desire to please people and the absolute knowledge that family I am supposed to care about don't give a damn about me and it's likely they never will. I'll just do what I always do: eat well, drink often and remind myself that everyone's family reunions are awkward and screaming with quiet disapproval.

On the bus today, I was reading the new David Sedaris and couldn't help but stop and listen to a conversation directly behind me. Two University staff members were talking about the warm weather, the summer term and the now (thankfully) over Olympic Trials. "Did you make it to any of the events?," asked one. The other replied, "Oh yes, Steve and I scored tickets on Friday right on the finish line in the third row! It was so loud, I could have sworn I was in Autzen stadium!" The first one then paused before saying, "Yeah, I went on Saturday and it was so loud I couldn't hear myself breathe!" I'm sure they didn't see me, but my eyes squinted and head went straight up. Did I hear that right? I'm sure I had. So loud I couldn't hear myself breathe? I found myself listening to my own breath, completely drowned out by the bus and all its noise. I started breathing louder, louder, and louder until I'm certain I looked like I was having a mild heart attack. A quick grip to the chest and one of the people now staring at me would leap into action. Even after all that, I still couldn't hear myself breathe, and I was only on the bus; not in a crowded stadium. But I know how she feels. Why, it was so loud in this morning's meeting, I couldn't even hear the blood in my veins!

I've been riding my bike to work a lot. Robin gave it to me for my birthday. It's a city cruiser, in that it's a 21-speed cruiser with shock absorbers. I love it. Riding to and from work provides and extra kick in my workout. This paragraph reads like a first grader describing something. I like candy. The weather is nice. Yesterday I made a pee pee and a doody.

This past weekend, we celebrated our nation's liberation from those sissy Brits by camping, drinking, swimming and overall shenanniganing in the woods. We were joined by Eric, Chandra and Bryan on Friday afternoon and they stayed through Saturday afternoon. Saturday night, however, was when the party really got started. And by "really got started," I mean we all got naked around the fire and played a rousing game of Slap Ass and had what was indeed a Sexy Party. Both Sara and I forgot our cribbage board, which could have ended in a vicious smiting by the hands of the Cribbage Gods, but instead we drew a nice board in the CLOG and thus appeased their unbridled aggression.

While camping, I did my first burn of the year! You should have seen those Doug Firs; they went up like tinder! Oh, that's not what I mean. The forest and its inhabitants are perfectly fine, delicious Spotted Owl hatchlings notwithstanding. I was out of lamp oil, so I just used plain old white gas and boy did those poi light up! Burns with pure white gas are quicker but more intense, to be sure. All this working out the past six months has really paid off, as I was able to do two sets while only breaking a mild sweat.

Robin and April have been chattering away nonstop about the new X-Files movie (no really, call one of them right now and they'll be yammering on). I'm looking forward to it as well, but I'm glad I don't have to deal with the unsightly foam that develops at the edges of my lips when someone says, "file(s)," "David," "movie," "FBI," or "aliens." We're hosting an X-Files marathon at our place on Sunday. We're supposed to pick our favorite episode and I still haven't come up with mine. Not that I don't really enjoy the idea, it's just that I'm indecisive and can't choose one episode in particular. Perhaps by Sunday I'll have it figured out. Otherwise, I'll just drive April and Robin crazy by saying, "It's the one with the aliens," and when they try to narrow it down, arrive at a decision and pop it in, I'll say within the first twenty seconds, "Oh, it's not this one, it's the other one with aliens."