It Annoys Me When... [Murderer's Edition]

I'm enjoying a nice cocktail and all I can think about is how difficult it is to find a good alcohol to mix with blood.

People don't let me hold their children simply because I ask if I can abduct their children.

I eat my lunch in public and the person I'm sitting next to acts like raw flesh smells so fucking bad.

I'm trying to read on the bus and the person across from me keeps staring at my blood-splattered clothes.

I'm sitting in a fine restaurant and they won't serve me simply because I chose to bring my ax that day.

I try to care about someone's conversation only to have them ask me why I'm not looking at them and picking at my scabs.

People get all high and mighty when I ask what butcher shop is their favorite and I say mine is my garage.

I ask what movie someone suggests going to see and they can't respond because they're bound and gagged and possibly unconscious.

I go for a walk in the park and there are no good people to eat.

I forget to wear my black clothes at night thus becoming visible to people I have been trying so hard to follow into an empty alleyway.

When I tell my date what my hobbies are and they get this horrified look on their face as if they don't have sacrificial alters.

I try to pay for a new sweater and the clerk tells me that human fingers have never been a form of currency.

When I get fired from my job because I keep telling my coworkers that I hate it when people stab me in the back but I love to stab people in the back because of all the screaming.

The bank denies my loan because I put down "exotic skin collection" as collateral.

My car stops running and when I take it to the mechanic, they seem confused when I tell them it doesn't need oil because it runs on harvested souls.

Kali doesn't accept my offering because I forgot to wash the goat in virgin blood. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a virgin in this day and age?