Fancier New Age

Thank you Jobetta for sending me a birthday card about my potty training. It's something I'm not ashamed of nor make excuses for. Thanks to years of practice, I now have a 93% success rate of making it to a potty before I wet my diapers.

To all of you who wished me a happy birthday in person and on myspace (or both), thank you. Don't you love how myspace reminds you of other's birthdays? I sure do. Even though it's reminded me a couple of times and I forgot and didn't wish the person a happy birthday. If that means you, know that myspace isn't slacking, I am.

I'm 26 now. Guess what that means? It means in bizarro world I'm 62. I hope you all realize that when it's 7:47pm on June 19th, 2013, I will be 33. What you should also realize is that for an instant, the bizarro world and ours will become indistinguishable from one another. Some of you will be sucked into the vortex, doomed to live a life opposite of what you previously intended. The others will have their brains ripped out from the suction of the vortex, leaving a hole in your skull into which your doppleganger may or may not decide to inhabit. Should they choose the latter, your body will dissipate into the vortex, never to be seen again. So sayeth Gramnat of Lebutron.

I'm slowly getting less excitable about world events as I once was. Lewis Black's new special pointed out that before he can make a joke about something, 30 new crazy things happen to/in/on/about our country. I don't know. Maybe I'm mellowing with age like a fine cabernet. Then again, maybe the weight of opinions is getting to the point that I don't even care about my own anymore, outside of individual tastes (like horseradish which can go fuck itself).

I think what is getting at me more is the will to examine and explore events as one would approach a work of art. Philosophy begs me to take my time and carefully read articles and books, a trait that I believe is becoming part of my character. Not to worry, however. I haven't lost any of my charmingly neurotic social behavior, I assure you.

I'd like to think this trend will continue and my reflective qualities will outweigh the propensity to sound off at situations with which I have little or no familiarity. On the same hand, I will always sound off against certain things like George Bush, crazy drivers and screaming children in restaurants whose parents are content to poke at their chicken as if nothing is going on but three people have already commented on the situation and I just let fly my spoon at the kid's face.

There. That's what I have to say for right now. I believe my blog will be taking a turn for the more random, inquisitive and poignant aspects of my life, rather than rants about Politician X vs. Politician Y (and no, Evan, that's not a knock against you. See, you actually know how to research stuff and do before forming an opinion. I lack both the skills and the desire to do so. I pretty much agree with you anyway, because you're scary).